Monday, February 4, 2013
Connecting the Dots
I'm always looking for the answer.
Not just any answer.
When I got married, I read articles and listened to friends, thinking that somehow if I listened enough to everyone I would find the answer that no one else had and have the relationship that everyone envied.
When my kids were born I wanted to know how to raise them perfectly. And so I pumped my friends for information, hoping that if I learned enough I could make child-rearing painless.
When my husband died, I looked to other widows and hoped that one person would give me the answer - the blueprint for the rest of my life and how it was supposed to go.
And when I started writing, I looked to other writers, hoping that they would give me the keys to the kingdom and tell me how. Just how.
For so long, I've been trying to connect the dots...trying to make a bigger picture I couldn't see. I guess I thought that if I paid attention, read, went to workshops, and followed others...they would show me which way to go.
And while that knowledge is helpful, I'm starting to learn one big truth.
That while others might help me connect the dots, the picture is mine to create.
Widow Chick (aka, Catherine Tidd) is the owner of www.theWiddahood.com and the author of the upcoming memoir Confessions of a Mediocre Widow (Jan. 2014). She is also a writer for The Denver Post's Mile High Mamas and a contributor to several books on grief and renewal.